Have I changed somehow?

Sort of funny story from this weekend.

My sister and I were celebrating our birthdays together on Saturday. She turned 25 on the 18th and I turn 30 on the 2nd. While she and I were sitting at lunch with our mom, my phone rang. It was my older brother calling so I answered because he never calls. He asks, "You like the Steelers, right?" To which I reply, "well...I'm not a huge sports fan." He then starts complaining about how he doesn't know what to get me for my birthday. Awkward. Not a big deal, though. So, I hand the phone over to my sister so she can maybe tell him what to get me. She tells him I like gauzy scarves- in fall colors. It's true, I do. Later that night the whole fam is sitting in the living room as Molly and I open presents. It comes to Cy's gift for me and I begin to open it when he says, "I told the store clerk that I had no idea what to get a 30 year old lesbian who likes summer scarves in fall colors. She didn't want anything to do with me. I hope you like this." Of course I laughed really hard because he's such a dork. Later, though, it started to kind of get under my skin, what he said. He didn't know what to get a 30 year old lesbian...

The truth is that I'm the same person as I was before. I'm still Abby, his dorky sister for 29 years, 11 months and 23 days now. He's always known before what I like and what will make me happy and what will piss me off. Why does he think I've changed now that my partner is a woman? Yeah, maybe he's just giving me a hard time, but like I always am, I feel kind of whiny about it. It struck a nerve- just like he intended, I'm sure. That's what big brothers are for, I guess- at least Cyrus. I know that about him!

RIP Troy Davis

My heart is so heavy for Troy Davis' family. The Supreme Court could have stayed his execution. They should have. Instead they basically lynched him. Why? Because he's like any other black man in America out on the streets at night when they should know better, right? Reminds me of a Citizen Cope song that I think says it better than I can:

Contact

You're walking down the street
You've got this white Chevy Lumina undercover
Checking you to see
They're checking your I.D.
'Cause it's a fine time
Say just to run a name
'Cause you look the same
As the dude with the rebel in his veins
But while you're checking me
You've got them crooked politicians
Eating up the treasury
And taking our cash
To spend on the prisons
While the youth they fast
Now I'm waiting on the day
When we can all bring
Like Martin Luther King
This is why I sing
I want some contact 

Glorified Battering Images?

http://m.yahoo.com/w/ygo-frontpage/lp/story/us/485549/coke.bp%3B_ylt=A0S02EpogmJOrQcALCIp89w4%3B_ylu=X3oDMTI2ZTc3aTJiBGNjb2RlA3B6YnUEY3BvcwMxBGNzZWMDbW9iaWxlLXRkBGludGwDdXMEcGtnA2lkLTQ4NTU0OQRwb3MDMgRzbGsDdGl0bGU-?ref_w=frontdoors&view=today&.tsrc=yahoo&.intl=us&.lang=en

"Deeply embarrassed white people talk awkwardly about race" article

My friend posted this article from The Stranger on fb, and I find it to be particularly relevant. I'm also very glad to see these conversations happening in other forums!

She says, " 'Being a seattle native..i have grown up to almost look "past" race..etc.. as if that is something you just don't notice. (like how i barely know if someone changed their hair color/etc). I of course realized over the years what a disservice it is not to acknowledge who people are holistically and how damaging it can be. I am excited that this article sparks rounds of conversations on this subject. It has been too long for me that i have had a serious convo about race.' "

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/deeply-embarrassed-white-people-talk-awkwardly-about-race/Content?oid=9747101

I also find this article to be particularly relevant to a conversation we had in women's support group this morning when a clt talked about a child facing racial discrimination "way back when" and acting as if racism no longer exists. Then another clt said that there is still rampant racism in the South. This response is both true and irritating because it allows non-Southerners to deny the passive and aggressive racism that absolutely still occurs all over this country. I wish I had this article to pass out to the group!

Wal-Mart Wins :(

This article left me feeling sad.


http://news.yahoo.com/wal-mart-wins-supreme-court-sex-bias-case-142932169.html

Target and Agent Handouts

http://www.wsba.org/Legal-Community/Committees-Boards-and-Other-Groups/Access-to-Justice-Board/ATJBLC/~/media/53836FA01FD3443BBD170610D390F067.ashx

webshares.northseattle.edu/beginnings2009/Handouts/Target%20skills.doc

http://www.fpg.unc.edu/~handouts/CrosswalksInst_ThePriceofSilence_Handout.pdf starting on page 4.

Reflections on AOC Training

Last night I felt like I was on a natural high from how well the AOC training went! It seemed to me like everyone got along well, made positive new connections and participated fully. The best part, though, was hearing at the end that one participant got out of it the same things that I got out of it when I first took the training. What an amazing full circle moment that was.

I truly feel like this training could be a model for other organizations. While adressing social injustice gets me excited, it doesn't seem to engender positive attitudes in others a lot of the time. So, you can imagine how excited I was when we got through to the end and there hadn't been any arguing or yelling or awkward feelings...at least on my part (and I am very sensitive and tuned in to the vibe of groups). More than that- people actually said they liked the training and found it inspirational. Honestly, my happiness could not be contained. Christie heard about it all night long.

Though we haven't received any formal feedback yet, the elements I found to work really well included the fun and relaxing games/stickers/coloring crayons in the middle of the tables, the concerted effort on all of our parts to convey our points from a place of assuming best intentions and our committment to soliciting lots of participation from our "students." Particularly on this last point, it seemed like all of us felt comfortable being open and honest and even vulnerable. I was so wowed when some folks even admitted to times when they'd been oppressive, took responsibility and dedicated themselves to using this experience as a turning point in their learning journey. Amazing.

Usually when big events like this are over I am so relieved just to have them done. This time, though, I can't wait for the next training!